May 17 2012

Turn Your Personal Weakness Into a Marital Strength



As a society, we’re afraid to admit our weaknesses. As a result, we end up blaming others, complaining, lying, being evasive, shutting down, gossiping, backbiting, and just generally living in fear of being found out.

None of this is good for a marriage, as I’ve learned from personal experience. I’m guessing many of you have learned this lesson the hard way as well. In a great marriage, both of you feel so comfortable with one another, accepted, understood and safe that you are okay with admitting weakness. In a bad marriage, however, it’s easy to find yourself building protective walls, walls that make a bad marriage even worse. Walls push your spouse away, causing you to feel even more distanced and less comfortable. Our fear of admitting our weaknesses is often what keeps us from apologizing.

How do you turn this around? The first step is the scariest.

Make the first move. Someone has to. You could wait the rest of your life for your spouse to do it, or you could take control of the situation and be the first to admit that you are only human. Here are a few things to think about:

  • Unless you married an enlightened being, your spouse is only human, too. Everyone has a weakness somewhere. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone fails. Everyone screws up from time to time.
  • Chances are that your spouse won’t react as negatively as you think he or she will react. We all suffer from a negativity bias that causes us to predict negative outcomes that sound like this, “If I admit to X, then my spouse will….” Quite often our predictions are way off the mark.
  • Refusing to admit your weakness just makes you weaker. As soon as you admit a weakness, you feel stronger.
  • Admitting a weakness brings you and your spouse closer.

Use language of change. It’s hard to admit that you are “too emotional,” “can’t pay attention” or are “too stressed.” It’s not as hard to admit (or to hear) that you are “too emotional right now” “can’t pay attention right now” or are “too stressed right now.” Similarly “I don’t like you right now” inflicts less of a sting than “I don’t like you” and “I’m too tired to clean the house right now” won’t annoy your spouse as much as “I’m too tired to clean the house.” Similarly “I don’t feel like having sex right now” isn’t as hard to hear as “I don’t feel like having sex.” The “right now” implies that this negative situation or emotion is not your identity and it’s not permanent.

Admit that you don’t like your weakness. This further humanizes you and allows your spouse to know that this is a sensitive topic. It’s the difference between “I wish I wasn’t too emotional right now” and “I’m too emotional right now.” It’s also the difference between “I’m embarrassed that I’m so angry that I don’t even like you right now. That’s how angry I am” and “I don’t like you right now.” Similarly, think about how “I wish I wanted to have sex right now” feels compared to “I don’t want to have sex.” The first leads to solution oriented thinking and begs the question, “What would make you want to have sex right now or sometime later?” The second shuts down the conversation.

Express love. Rather than make your weakness all about you, get some buy in from your spouse. To do so, express your concern not only for your happiness, but also for your spouse’s happiness, too. This sounds like this, “I don’t think we should have this conversation right now because I’m too emotional. I’m afraid I might say something hurtful and I don’t want to do that to you. Could we talk about this in a few hours when I feel calmer?” Similarly “I feel really anxious and stressed right now. I wish I didn’t feel this way, but I do and I’m worried that I’m about to blow my lid. I don’t want to do that in front of you or our children because none of you deserve to be around me when I’m like that. So I’m going to go in the bedroom, shut the door and put myself in time out for a while.” It also sounds like this, “I really want to rock your world in bed because you deserve that, but I’m way too tired right now to make that happen. I don’t want to go through the motions with you. I want to be fully present. Could we have sex in the morning when I’m feeling more energetic?”

What stops you from admitting your weaknesses? How does that impact your marriage? What have you done to be more vulnerable with your spouse? What advice do you have to offer others?

Related posts:

  1. 5 Ways Not to Solve Your Marital Problems
  2. Help Solve This Marital Problem, Part 2
  3. Help Solve This Marital Problem
Project: Happily Ever After book cover

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Go to ProjectHappilyEverAfter.com for more marriage advice or to converse with other recovering divorce daydreamers.

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May 17 2012

How To Get Her Back After She Has Rejected You: Make Your Ex Girlfriend Beg You To Love Her Again!




getgirlfriendbacknow.info – CLICK HERE TO GET HER BACK NOW! What is the one thing you can do NOW to Get Your Ex Back? It all starts with you; Getting Back Together happens when you start here. When your girlfriend says she wants to end the relationship, your emotions go on a roller coaster. You will feel sorrow and cry and you will think you have done something to drive her away. After a while you will either feel panic and want to run after her before she finds someone else or you may get angry and think of getting revenge. Neither chasing her or seeking revenge will get her back. The way to get her back after she has rejected you is to reject her and make her beg for you to love her again. Right after the breakup, you will be going through a very difficult period emotionally. If you are not careful, you might chase her away for good. But if you get a grip on your emotions, you can turn things around. You can make your ex girlfriend feel as if she is the one that has been rejected. That might seem impossible, but it will be easy. First of all, you are a lovely and sweet woman and you ex is crazy to be treating you this way. But, she is still a little boy at heart, so you have to make allowances. When you were growing up you probably dreamed of meeting your prince charming and your ex girlfriend thought of finding her princess. When you met, you both thought your search had ended and you had found your perfect mate. Many times this will make the girl try too hard to …



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May 17 2012

Christian Marriage Counseling Online Advice for Saving Your Marriage



www.getback-your-ex.info Christian Marriage Counseling can help you and your spouse feel the joy and peace that you have been dreaming of. Christian Marriage Counseling will help you enhance your happiness and have a wonderful married life. ——————————————————————————– ways to save my marriage, stop divorce advice with help online. christian marriage counseling questions, in los angeles, florida save your relationship “christian marriage counseling books” atlanta.



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May 17 2012

Can counseling save my marriage?




Who could benefit from counseling?



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May 17 2012

Tips For Avoiding Your Girl From Leaving You.




This is a Webinar I made a few months ago, it covers the 3rd step titled “Getting To Know Us” on my 3 Step System for Saving you relationship and keeping you woman. If you want more tips and secrets to really avoid your girl from leaving you and save your relationship, go to my website www.dontbreakupdontgiveup.com



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May 16 2012

Methods to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Again – 3 Things You Must Do to Win Your Ex Again



Right here is easy methods to get Your ex girlfriend Back. How one can win your ex again and preserve her interested greater than she was.

So you’ll have executed some stupid errors to crash your relationship. You may have performed one thing really, really bad or just many little issues that, effectively, resulted in you being single again.

What gives, life is rough, drink up and transfer on? Maybe, but then perhaps you wish to get again with your girlfriend; you need to win her coronary heart again.

You at the second are being retrospective and looking back on how issues were once you were together and you are feeling actually messed up. You are saying, “I need my girlfriend back, I need my ex back? Or could I would like her back in my life; I need to get again with my ex”.

Yeah, I know what you might be considering, however do you really need the connection that you just had again, otherwise you need a better relationship along with her when you get her back? In the event you ask me, I’d say you want your love again, you want the particular person that was your girlfriend back, you want to be collectively once more with her but I actually do not think you want the same relationship back.

Earlier than we proceed, ask yourself, do I really need to win my girlfriend again, or ought to I be getting over her?

OK, now that we have now establish what you need to actually do, let’s discover the ways to win your ex back. We are going to explore a couple of methods on how to get your ex girlfriend back. I’ll present you find out how to win your ex back with out making your self look weak and wussy.

Do This First:

Firstly, you must be taking a while to make a self analysis of your life and the entire situation. Earlier I ask you to ask your self a easy question earlier than you proceed, that is, do you really need to win your ex back, or do you may have to be getting over your girlfriend?

When a relationship ends, our mind and physique all the time want to get back with the person. Nevertheless as time goes by we soon understand that these feelings had been just temporary and that the relationship might not be the most effective factor in our life at this time. So the first thing you need to do is to give your self just a few days and even weeks to clarify your scenario and your position. Take time for your self and clear you head to be sure you really wish to get your ex girlfriend back.

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Now, in case you determined you need to be getting over her, then this article is not for you. As a end result of this text is about how to get your ex girlfriend back. Yes, it is about the finest means to win your ex again and not methods to recover from your ex. So, your self evaluation ought to mainly decide what direction you wish to go as regards to these questions.

To get your ex girlfriend back, requires endurance, because the worst thing you are capable of do is be a push over, hasty nut head or a wuss. Girls hate wuss, and I do not care how a lot feelings you continue to have for her, you want to look strong and in control.

Do This Second:

After you evaluate and you decide you wish to win your ex again, rebuilding pal ship is the second thing you want to do. You’ll have to start spending time along with your ex just as pals, nothing heavy here. Mild casual hang out time collectively, this will keep the confusion and previous hostility at a distance.

Hey, you are beginning over to rebuild a bond; you are attempting to discover one another again. You see, to rebuild the romance and get your love back, you’ve gotten work the friendship aspect and rebuild that bond first.

Do some casual dates, it can be by your self or with a bunch of friends. You just must be in her presence or in a state of affairs where she is comfy and does not feel pressured. Don’t power the relationship aspect of things back in your ex. Give your ex the liberty to regulate to the brand new you, give them time to see that you have got actually change and to find what they actually like about you.

To get your ex girlfriend back, she is going to need that reassurance before her mind can shift to creating the decision to get back with you.

You Must Do This:

Belief me when I inform you your endurance in this area will win her coronary heart back eventually. Incidentally among the many some ways to win her, persistence is the primary know the proper approach to get you ex girlfriend back. It’s the major strategy on the proper way to win you ex back on her own terms. So use utmost patience to get back along with your ex and she goes to soon understand that, and will warm up to it.

Patience would require you to move slowly as you progress into the friendship and your quest to get her back. Don’t be hasty to make this spark happen. This may serve to create more tension and will make issues raise their heads and should spoil your possibilities to win ex girlfriend back. So loosen up and go slow.

Additionally, do not go for so much of dates in a short space of time either. It’s best to space the dates, and most times watch for her to name and initiate the date. This will be an excellent signal that she is warming up to you and having fun with your company.

So in studying the right way to get your ex girlfriend again we looked at three things. We look at (1) your want to guage your scenario and resolve between getting over you ex or your must win your ex again (2) your must rebuild the friendship before the romance and (3) your must exercise persistence in studying the best method to win your ex back.

This and extra will build belief, but is that each one you have to be doing? Of course there may be more it’s essential do, loads extra, we were simply getting started.

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May 16 2012

BAA case study: Aircraft Fire and Rescue Career Progression programme with SCE Enterprise



BAA is the world’s leading airport company owning seven UK airports including Edinburgh, Aberdeen, Stansted, Heathrow, Gatwick and Southampton. As part of their service, the company has its own fire service to provide airside support for all seven airports. Training Requirement BAA approached Stevenson College Edinburgh in the mid-1990s to provide a distance learning programme to be incorporated into the company’s promotional structure for firefighters. They already had basic training but there was no method of measuring and formally proving their competency to move onto the next role in the Airport Fire Service. The company required an accredited training programme standardised for all sites, delivered through distance learning and SCE was chosen as the ideal provider. Training Solution Initially a distance learning package, including tutor support, was developed in line with local authority Fire Service Examination Board qualifications also including modules specific to aviation firefighting. Over the years the structure within the fire service has changed and as a result the training programme was updated to take into account both organisational and role changes as well as up-to-date legislation. In 2006, a working group was set-up with BAA and SCE staff to develop an online programme to assess the competency, skills and knowledge of candidates ensuring they are ready for career progression within the company. The programme was designed to meet the theoretical …



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May 15 2012

Dos and Don



  • Yes, don’t call text, email, and post on his/her Facebook, camp on his/her door? Simply don’t contact. Seriously, if you do these things, you’ll only appear desperate and pitiful to your ex-lover, and no one falls back in love with whom he/she pities. So please don’t contact him/her. Be strong. If you can’t resist, write all the things you want to tell him/her in a letter, then lock it away somewhere you can’t see it.
  • Do give your ex-lover enough time. Getting back together from a break up takes time, so make sure that you give your ex, as well as yourself, enough time to cope with the break up. Making the move to get together right after a break up is not advisable, especially since the breakup is still fresh on both your minds, and you may still have some issues that you both need to resolve before you can hope to get back together smoothly and successfully.
  • Don’t let your emotions control your life. Though you may be hurting, you need to stop thinking with your heart and start using your mind. How will you ever get your ex-lover back if you’re just wallowing in the doldrums? How will you ever make and follow a plan to get the two of you back together? So stop wallowing in depths of self-pity and start taking charge of getting your ex-lover back.
  • Do distract yourself by thinking in another direction. The best way to stop you from making any desperate moves is to distract yourself. Try and think in another direction. Get a new hobby. Do something you’ve always wanted to do but always postponed doing it. There are many things you can do to avoid thinking about your ex.It will also give you a feeling of better in control of your life. It will help you regain some of the confidence you lost after the break up.Like no contact, if you keep yourself busy, you won’t be thinking about him/her. But he or she will be thinking about you and you’ll be surprised that you seem to easily move on from the relationship.
  • Do Be Patient: Though you want to win your ex-lover back immediately, well, this isn’t really a process that should be rushed. You should not rush getting back together with your ex only to end up heart broken and alone again. So try to be patient and let your creative plans work out well. Slow and steady win the race.
  • Don’t Use Mind Game To Get Back To Your Ex: Using mind games to get your ex back with you is never a good idea as this can only lead to more problems. For example, making your ex jealous by dating another person just to get him/her to want to get back together with you never works, as this will only push your ex to want to get even and date someone else just to spite you, and the next thing you know, both of you are already trying to get even with one another. Please avoid the mind games and tackle the issues that you have directly and properly.
  • Don’t Be Too Pushy and Possessive: Being too pushy and possessive with your ex will only irritate your ex and ruin your chances with him/her, so make sure that you avoid acting like that. Allow your ex to make the decision to want to get back together on his/her own volition without any interference on your part, as well as give your ex enough space to freely weigh out his /her options. Remember, you are already broken up, so the rules that apply to couples don’t necessarily apply to you anymore.
  • Do Approach The Whole Process of Getting Back To Your Ex With All Sincerity:? Make sure that you are sincere in your decision to want to get back together with your ex, especially since it isn’t just your feelings that are involved in your decision, but your ex-lover as well. You don’t want to get back to your ex only to break up once again. This will only hurt you the more.
  • Do Consider Why You Broke Up: To win your ex-lover back, you also need to figure out why you broke up in the first place. This is also helpful in ensuring that when you get back together, you end up staying together. You don’t want to get your ex-lover back only to lose him again with the same mistakes.
  • Don’t Show How Much You’re Suffering: Yes, you may be feeling a lot of pain because of the break up, but if you continue to show that suffering to your family, friends and even your ex-lover, again, you’ll just end up looking pitiful. It’s okay to cry and let out your emotions, but if it’s been more than a week and you still have red eyes, something is wrong.

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Yes, you CAN win your ex-lover back! Think positive, believe in yourself and don’t forget these dos and don’ts!

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An internet marketer promoting quality products on “How to Get Your Ex-Lover Back”

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May 15 2012

Marriage Counseling Advice | How To Reconnect and Feel Close Again



Here’s the next video in our blog series “Dr. Dana Answers Your Questions.” This week’s question is from Donna and she’s already heard from Dr. Dana how important quality time alone with your spouse is to a marriage but she’s not quite sure how to do that to really reconnect. She asks: “What are you supposed

View full post on Save My Marriage System | Online Marriage Counseling Made EasyWant More And Better Sex? Set The Mood And Get Each Other Going »



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May 15 2012

Want More And Better Sex? Set The Mood And Get Each Other Going



Are you unsatisfied with the sex in your marriage? Do you want more or better sex?  Do you just want to be wanted? Is the romance gone? Timing and Environment Sets the Mood   We talked in our November blog post: “What Turns a Woman On” about a woman’s arousal process and that most women

View full post on Save My Marriage System | Online Marriage Counseling Made EasyWant More And Better Sex? Set The Mood And Get Each Other Going »



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